The deep breathing, mindfulness, and sensory coping activities introduced in this module are just some examples of coping skills. There is a wide variety of tools and activities out there that may suit your child鈥檚 needs and interests.
This week, your child should fill out this worksheet (you can also read this worksheet in the drop-down below). Your child should check off which tools have worked well for them in the past and which ones they would like to try. Then, they will choose two activities that they would like to try using as coping tools this week when they are overwhelmed or anxious.
Please review this coping tools worksheet with your child and help them think through what tools might be helpful for them.
When our emotions are really intense, there are things we can do to change our emotional state to help us feel better. Here are some examples. Take a note of which coping tools work for you and which ones you would like to try.
Activities
- Read a book
- Listen to music
- Draw, doodle, or paint
- Watch your favorite movie
- Cook or bake
- Puzzles or Legos
- Go on a walk, jog, or hike
- Spend time with a pet
- Journaling
- Practice an instrument or other hobby
- Take a warm bath or shower
- Dance or move your body
Sensory Coping
- Weighted blanket
- Pressure vest or compression clothing
- Stress balls
- Slime
- Fidget toys
- Light your favorite candle
- Alone time or quiet time
- Pillows or plushies
- Put on relaxing music
- Noise-cancelling headphones
Mindfulness
- Yoga or stretching
- Guided meditation
- Deep breathing
- Progressive muscle relaxation
- 5-4-3-2-1 grounding
- Pressure holds
- Spend time in nature
- Talk to a trusted adult
Now, choose two activities that you would like to practice this week. Make sure one of the skills is one you can use in pretty much any situation, like deep breathing or 5-4-3-2-1.
When going over this exercise with your child, remember that some coping skills may not be options they can turn to all the time (for example, reading a book), while others can be used more flexibly and more frequently (like deep breathing).
When deciding whether a coping tool works for your child, think about whether this tool helps your child feel calmer so that they can manage their anxiety enough to accomplish their goals. As your child completes their exposure activities this week, remind them to use the coping skills they picked when they are feeling too anxious. Download this that your child can use over the next week.鈥
Stimming is a term that refers to the 鈥渟tereotyped or repetitive motor movements,鈥 that are common in autism. More and more people are seeing that stimming is a helpful coping strategy for many autistic individuals.
Common examples of stimming include rocking back and forth, finger tapping, chewing on something (such as a pen cap or piece of gum), and hand flapping. Some other less obvious forms of stimming could include listening to the same song over and over or humming the same song over and over, fidgeting with a small object, pacing, hair-twirling, or intensely focusing on something visual (such as a candle flickering or a tile pattern on the floor).
If stimming behaviors help your child feel more calm and ready to face their fears, then it might be good to include them into your child鈥檚 coping skill toolbelt.
In some cases, however, stimming may not be the best way for your child to manage anxiety. Stimming may not be helpful if鈥
- Your child receives negative social attention that is harmful for them due to their stimming behaviors (such as getting teased at school)
- Your child鈥檚 stimming behaviors are distracting and do not help them face their fears (like spinning in circles)
- Your child鈥檚 stimming behaviors are physically harmful
While we advocate for society to accept differences in autistic individuals, it is unfortunately still common for kids to be bullied when they stim. If your child engages in an obvious stim, such as hand flapping, it may be helpful for them to engage in a less obvious stim that is still calming for them.
When stimming takes a lot of focus and effort, it can distract your child and make it difficult for them to focus on other things, like completing an exposure activity. A helpful stimming behavior will help your child self-soothe so that they can feel prepared to do hard things, not distract them or be done in place of the task at hand.
Some kids and teens may engage in self-harm behaviors when they are anxious or emotionally dysregulated (like scratching themselves, hitting themselves, or kicking/punching hard objects). Even though this is not usually thought of as stimming, it is still an important consideration, since some kids will self-harm when feeling strong emotions like anxiety. If this is a concern for your child, we recommend you seek out help for self-injurious behavior. Here is a link for more information on self-harm behaviors:
Coping Skills Cards
Remembering to use coping skills when you are anxious can be hard, but these can serve as reminders for your child. Each card has a brief reminder about either鈥痙eep breathing鈥痮r鈥5-4-3-2-1 or other common coping skills. Your child can also fill out their own using the blank card.
Here are some ways your child can use these cards:
- Print and carry the cards with you so you can look at them when you are anxious. You could keep them in your pocket, wallet, purse, or phone case.
- Print and store the cards in a safe area (on your desk or on your bookshelf) and come back to them when you are anxious
- Print and place the cards somewhere you often feel anxious, so you can quickly reach them. These places could be next to your bed, in the kitchen, or inside your mom鈥檚 car.
- Download the cards onto your phone so that you can have them to look at whenever you need! You could also make one of the cards your phone background if you need a frequent reminder to calm your mind and body.
Remember that coping skills are only effective if they help your child face their fears. If your child is using coping skills a lot, but they are not taking steps on their plan of action, then their anxiety will not get any easier to manage.
Let鈥檚 look at how George and Sophia practice coping skills:
Sophia uses coping and relaxation skills when she feels anxious around her classmates at school. Before going to school in the morning, she sets aside a few minutes for deep breathing, so she will feel calmer and more confident going into school. She keeps her cards in the seating area next to the door, so she can practice right before she heads out to school. She also asks her mom to remind her to practice deep breathing on the days where she forgets.
George uses coping and relaxation skills when there is a bad storm outside. During bad storms, George often begins worrying about all the damage the storm could cause, and he gets frightened and overwhelmed by the thunder and rain outside. When this happens, he often uses quick fixes for his anxiety, like checking the weather forecast over and over. By practicing the grounding 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, he鈥檚 able to help himself fall asleep during a storm without relying on quick fixes. He keeps his cards on his nightstand so he can easily reach them during a storm.
