“Fix-Its” are another type of behavior that your child may engage in when they are feeling anxious. In addition to avoidance, your child may perform certain behaviors or actions over and over again in order to calm down their anxiety and prevent feared outcomes from happening. We call these behaviors Fix-Its because they do not get to the root of what is causing your child’s fears or solve any problems in the long run.
Watch the video below to learn more about Fix-Its:
We want to teach you about a new idea this week - “fix-its.” Fix-its are anything we do that help us feel more calm at first but do not help us face our fears. Even though fix-its help us at first, they make us feel more fear and anxiety later.
For example, Sally washes her hands over and over with way too much soap to keep her feeling clean. Sometimes she washes her hands for five or ten minutes without stopping. For Sally, washing too much is a “fix-it.” Washing makes Sally feel better at first, so she will probably keep washing. The problem is that when she washes so much, it tricks her brain into thinking there really are germs on her hands. Even more important, it does not give her a chance to face her fears and find out whether she would get sick without washing, and if she does get sick, if she could handle it. In order to make sure she’s able to challenge her fears, Sally sat down with her mom and wrote a list of fix-its.
Sally’s fix-its include:
- Washing her hands too much
- Asking too many questions about her fears
- Spending a lot of time researching her fears on the internet
- Carrying a special object everywhere she goes
Think about some of your fix-its. What are they? How do they keep you from challenging your fears?
Like avoidance, quick fixes may temporarily relieve anxiety, but they will not help your child face their fears, so they are not a good long-term solution. When someone faces a feared situation and uses quick fixes to deal with their anxiety, they may feel like the quick fix is the main reason for their success or safety in the situation, or the only reason they made it out okay. In this way, these behaviors prevent them from learning about their fears or developing confidence. The more your child uses quick fixes, the more they will depend on these behaviors to alleviate their anxiety or slow down their worries. As you may have guessed, quick fixes can also lead to a cycle that keeps anxiety going.
Take a look at the . As you can see, the quick fix cycle looks almost exactly like the avoidance cycle!
Then, take a look at this to get more familiar with them:
List of Common Quick Fixes:
- Washing your hands too much or cleaning things too much
- Carrying a special object everywhere
- Checking your phone for notifications you are worried about over and over
- Asking too many questions about your fears
- Checking things over and over (like door locks, the oven/stove, or where exits are located)
- Spending lots of time researching your fears online
Quick Fixes vs. Helpful Coping Tools
It's important to note that it’s not always appropriate for children to learn how to manage their anxiety without allowing them to lean on certain items or behaviors for support. Many kids and teens may experience anxiety related to certain situations that can be overwhelming, uncomfortable, or even painful for them.
For example, Neil is afraid of ordering his own food at the hot dog stand and refuses to approach the vendor at all. Neil is scared that he might mess up when he’s placing his order, the vendor might not understand him, or they might make fun of him. Certain items and behaviors can be helpful for kids and teens to face their fears. In Neil’s case, he writes out his order before going up to the counter, and his mom gives him a high five to encourage him. By doing that, Neil realizes that it’s not so scary to order his own food. Maybe eventually, he will even be able to face some of these situations without his notes or his mom.
In this example, Neil uses his notes as a coping skill, and not as a quick fix, because they help him approach his fears. Sometimes these coping skills are one step towards overcoming these fears. You will learn more about coping tools in a later module, but today, let’s focus on how to determine if something is an unhelpful quick fix or a helpful tool!
The best way to figure out if something is a quick fix or not is to determine whether it is helping your child accomplish their goals and approach their fears. If it helps them face their fears and if they are flexible in how much they use the item or engage in the behavior, it is likely a helpful tool, and not a quick fix. But if it does not help them reach their goals, or if they feel like they must use the item or engage in the behavior, it is probably a quick fix. Here is a diagram to help you determine whether something is a quick fix, or a helpful tool:
| Quick Fixes | Helpful Tools | Both |
|
| Both help your child feel less anxious in the short-term, but quick fixes do not help your child face their fears in the long term |
The most important thing to remember is that if the behavior is helping your child accomplish their goals, such as going to school, meeting friends, or participating in other important activities, the behavior is probably a helpful coping tool. If the behavior is restricting your child’s life or causing more stress in your family, it is likely a quick fix.
Identifying Avoidance and Quick Fixes
It can sometimes be difficult to identify your child’s avoidance behaviors and quick fixes. In some cases, your child or teen may be skilled at masking their discomfort or hiding their attempts to avoid a feared situation. In other cases, avoidance behaviors and quick fixes can be extremely obvious, especially if they are heavily disrupting you or your child’s lives.
Look back at the you and your child filled out in Module 1. For each fear that is checked off, ask yourself if you have seen your child avoid things or situations due to that fear. Then, ask yourself if your child uses any quick fixes to manage any of the fears on the list. After this, go over the checklist with your child and ask them what they think. For example, if your list indicates that your child is afraid of interacting with peers, you could ask them, “How do you usually act or behave when you are feeling worried or afraid of interacting with peers? Do you think there’s things that you avoid due to this fear?”.
We have two worksheets that may help your child recognize how they behave when they are anxious. There’s one for, and one for . You may help your child fill out these worksheets or they can complete them on their own. Either way, it is a good idea to review these worksheets with your child to see what anxiety behaviors they can come up with.
Let's Learn About OCD
Before we move on, we have one more anxiety cycle to talk about- The OCD Cycle.
Note: Every kid or teen in this program will most likely have anxiety. But not all of them will have OCD. The information here will only be needed by a few of you!
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, is often misunderstood. It is common for people to think that OCD is just a quirky trait or a preference for staying clean and organized- but this is not what OCD is! OCD involves a cycle that repeats itself. This cycle can impact many areas of life, and it uses up a lot of time and energy. Here are the steps in the OCD cycle:
Step #1: Triggers
It all begins with a trigger that brings up an intrusive thought. Intrusive thoughts are upsetting or unwanted ideas, doubts, images, or feelings that pop into someone’s head. A trigger can be almost anything – a person, a situation, a place, or a feeling in your body.
Step #2: Obsessions
It’s normal to have intrusive thoughts! We all experience doubts or unwanted ideas at times. Intrusive thoughts only become a problem once they turn into something called obsessions. Obsessions are intrusive or unwanted thoughts that come up over and over again. For someone with OCD, intrusive thoughts carry a lot more meaning- this makes them feel very threatening, scary, urgent, or important. For most people, intrusive thoughts are just temporary ideas, but in OCD, they spiral into something much bigger. When someone gets pulled into the OCD cycle, their intrusive thoughts start to recur and turn into obsessions.
Step #3: Emotions
In OCD, obsessions can bring up a lot of really uncomfortable emotions such as fear, shame, anxiety, or disgust. Another common emotion in OCD is feeling like things are not correct or not just right. This is called having a “not-just-right” experience. For instance, when cleaning his room, George has a constant feeling that his bookshelf is not organized just right. This feeling upsets and bugs George a lot.
Step #4: Compulsions
Emotions such as distress, fear, or disgust caused by obsessions can lead to behaviors called compulsions. Compulsions can be any action someone with OCD uses to try and get rid of these feelings or to stop bad things from happening. Compulsions are usually physical actions, such as washing your hands or checking on your pet over and over, but they can sometimes be in your head too. For example, someone might try to block out scary thoughts or replace their “bad” thoughts with “good” ones. They may adjust their thoughts like this over and over again, even if it does not seem to work for very long.
Compulsions are a specific type of quick fix. Compulsions happen much more often than other kinds of quick fixes, and they also tend to come along with the strongest urges. For example, George has a very strong urge to keep organizing his bookshelf, not because he enjoys organizing, but to try and get rid of the upsetting feeling that it is not organized correctly.
Step #5: Temporary Relief
Compulsions provide a short break from upsetting emotions and thoughts, but they also keep the OCD cycle going. When using compulsions, someone with OCD will feel temporary relief. Because obsessions can be so upsetting, it makes perfect sense why someone would keep turning to compulsions to try and feel better. But the next time an upsetting thought comes up, they feel like they must repeat the compulsion over and over again to get rid of the uncomfortable thought or feeling. Compulsions end up stopping someone from learning that their unwanted thoughts or doubts are not actually a threat. They don’t get to find out that they can face these thoughts and emotions when they give themselves a chance!
You’ll notice that the OCD cycle looks almost exactly like the other two anxiety cycles we have shown you so far. This is because the OCD cycle is a specific version of these other cycles. One difference is that the OCD cycle tends to be faster. Someone can move through the steps in the OCD cycle pretty quickly. This means that the OCD cycle can repeat itself a whole lot of times in just one day.
If your child has OCD, or if you notice that they could be dealing with some obsessions or compulsions, then take some time to go over the worksheet with them. You could have them fill out the worksheet first and then look over their answers together, or you could work with your child to fill out the worksheet with them.
Then, take a look at this list of common obsessions and compulsions that can show up in OCD. But keep in mind- there are many other types that are not on this list:
| OCD Type | Common Obsession | Common Compulsion |
| Harm | You are afraid that you might hurt yourself or someone / something else | You may be extra careful that you don’t accidentally hurt yourself or others (Ex. Hiding knives or sharp things) |
| Contamination | You are afraid that germs or harmful substances will hurt or kill you or others | You may wash your hands or surfaces in a specific way or for a specific amount of time |
| Bad Thoughts / Rumination | You can’t stop going over unpleasant thoughts in your head | You might ask people to reassure you that your unpleasant thoughts are wrong or try hard to get rid of upsetting thoughts |
| Order & Symmetry | You need things to feel “even” or equal and if they aren’t you are fearful for some reason | You may count your movements or try to do things equally on the right and the left |
| Somatic | You have a fear around normal things your body does, like blinking, swallowing, or breathing | You may count normal bodily functions or check that you are still completing them (Ex. Making sure you are still breathing / breathing correctly) |
| Magical Thinking | You think that your actions are connected to unrelated things that happen to you and other people | You may do certain things the same way every day to make sure that unrelated bad things do not happen to yourself or other people |
| Health | You are afraid that you already have or will develop a serious health issue | You may look up health conditions on the internet and feel convinced you have a condition |
| Other | Obsessions can be about nearly any topic that is important to you | Compulsions can be almost any action |
Do any of the thoughts or behaviors on this list seem familiar to you? Are any of these thoughts or behaviors similar to the ones your child wrote down on their worksheet? If so, take a quick mental note of this!
OCD can be hard to understand, and it can be even harder to recognize and understand signs of OCD in your child. If what you have learned about OCD confuses you, or if it seems like OCD is something your child could be dealing with, please talk about this with your therapist at your next meeting.